When it comes to therapy, one thing I’ve learned is that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Every client brings their own story, needs, and pace to the table, and it’s the therapist’s role to meet them exactly where they are. Therapy isn’t about fitting people into predefined models; it’s about creating a flexible, collaborative process that evolves with the client.
But there’s another side to therapy that’s often overlooked: it’s a two-way street. Just as clients grow and transform, therapists do too. At the heart of meaningful therapy is a willingness to adapt, learn, and improve—both for the client and for the therapist.
Adapting Therapy to the Client
One of the first things I emphasize in my practice is that therapy needs to be tailored to the individual. There’s no “right” starting point, no “correct” formula. Techniques like mindfulness or externalization may be helpful for some clients as an introduction, creating the groundwork for deeper modalities like hypnotherapy or parts work.
Let me give you an example: a client might come in feeling overwhelmed by their emotions, unable to distinguish between what they feel and who they are. In those cases, I might start by introducing a concept from narrative therapy: externalizing their feelings. Instead of saying, “I hate my life,” I might reframe it as, “There’s a part of you that feels like it hates your life right now.” It’s a subtle shift but a powerful one—it creates just enough space for them to start engaging with that emotion instead of being consumed by it.
For others, therapy might begin with mindfulness practices, helping them to cultivate a sense of presence and safety before diving into deeper work. Every journey is different, and a good therapist adapts their tools to fit the person in front of them.
The Power of Feedback in Therapy
Adapting therapy isn’t just about assessing a client’s needs—it’s also about actively seeking their input. In my practice, I use feedback-informed treatment, a model that encourages clients to provide ongoing, honest feedback about their experience.
Therapists aren’t perfect. We might think we’re helping in one way, but without feedback, we can miss the mark entirely. For me, checking in with clients regularly—asking what’s working and what isn’t—isn’t just helpful; it’s essential.
And here’s the thing: feedback isn’t just about improving therapy sessions. It’s also about building trust. When clients see that their voice matters and that their therapist is open to change, the therapeutic relationship strengthens.
Therapy research backs this up: the quality of the relationship between therapist and client accounts for 35-50% of treatment outcomes. By comparison, the specific modality (whether it’s CBT, EMDR, or IFS) has a much smaller impact. That’s why it’s so important to focus on the relationship itself—to create a space where clients feel seen, heard, and empowered.
Therapy as a Shared Journey
One of the most rewarding aspects of my work is that it’s never static. Every session, every client teaches me something new. Therapy isn’t just about helping clients grow—it’s also about the therapist growing alongside them.
For example, I’ve learned to embrace the unknown. Sometimes, progress doesn’t happen in a straight line. There are moments when a technique might feel like it’s going nowhere, only for a sudden breakthrough to occur. I remember working with a client who struggled to connect with their emotions. For weeks, we focused on identifying and naming their internal “parts,” repeating the process over and over. It felt like we were stuck—until, almost overnight, it all clicked for them. From that point on, their progress was remarkable, and they began to lead their own healing journey.
These experiences reinforce that therapy is a collaborative process. It’s not about the therapist being an expert or having all the answers. It’s about walking alongside the client, being open to feedback, and adjusting the approach as needed.
Why Flexibility and Feedback Matter
At its core, therapy is a relational experience. Techniques matter, yes, but the connection between therapist and client is what truly drives change. Flexibility allows us to meet clients where they are, and feedback ensures that the process remains client-centered.
When clients come into therapy, they deserve a space that feels tailored to them, where their voice shapes the journey. Likewise, therapists must be willing to grow, adapt, and learn alongside their clients.
Whether it’s starting with mindfulness, diving into parts work, or simply having an honest conversation about what’s working, therapy is a shared journey—one that thrives on collaboration, trust, and a willingness to embrace change.
If you’re considering therapy, know this: your needs, your pace, and your voice matter. And when those elements are prioritized, healing becomes not just possible, but transformative.
